Tension on the outbound platform

Like a good city dweller, I know that it's best to ignore everyone on the T (for those Boston-challenged amongst you, we call our subway "the T"), whether I'm on the actual train, or just in the station. If a smelly guy in a raincoat (and nothing else) is crying and bleating like a goat, ignore him. If a woman carrying 15 plastic bags is sitting on the bench drinking Ruble vodka and accusing her fellow travellers of trying to steal her baby, ignore her. That's how it works.

This Friday evening, however, I broke my own rule. I was waiting on the outbound platform at the Kendall/MIT stop when I ginormous forty-something guy in an overcoat and dress shirt with a very VERY skinny tie came walking down the ramp onto the platform. He was evidently unhappy about the way he had been treated by the MBTA staff at the ticket gate, and was telling everyone he made eye contact with about it, getting more and more red-faced as he went. Most people just ignored him, as he was about 400 pounds of fat, and looked like he was about to have a coronary.

Gigantor finally stopped right next to me to wait for the train. Turning to me, he said, "The world's really changing, man- it's the same shit every day. Know what I mean?"

I should have just nodded and gone back to my book, but no- I did not. Instead, I asked him, "How can it be the same shit every day if the world is changing?"

Evidently, Bluto wasn't in the mood for a philosophical discussion about the paradoxical nature of his logic. Looking kind of surprised, he asked me if I was trying to be "some sort of smart guy".

It's at this time that I made a split-second comparison of the two of us- could I kick his ass? Granted, he's a human land mass, but he's all fat and about my height. Either way, I didn't want to risk being belly-bumped onto the third rail, so I just said, "No, I'm anything but a smart guy."

Surprisingly, Baby Huey's entire demeanour changed. He chuckled, gave me a friendly slap on the shoulder, and said, "All right, man- all right." He then walked off down the platform to throw his Mountain Dew bottle into the overpriced bomb-proof trashcan.

I heard a sniffing sound coming from the matronly woman on the other side of me. She was shaking her head in a scolding fashion at me. "Happy Holidays, huh?" I asked, pointing my thumb back at Tons-o-Fun.

"You shouldn't have encouraged him," she said. She then turned back to her sudoku, ignoring me. Thankfully, the train showed up then and I went back to being just another aloof passenger reading his book. That woman was grumpy and judgemental, but I think I'm going to buy some new neckwear for my portly new T friend. Skinny ties are sooo out.